I played golf today. And I played with verve. It has been some time since I've been able to play this way, but after practicing a few days and finding that my back only whispers in discomfort (as opposed to the screams I grew accustomed to at the beginning of the year), I felt the same desire that I always had when I played competitively; to be on the course. As we all know from my last post, I work a day job, so I was only able to play 9 holes, but having only played one round in the last 3 months, and only 4 times all year, I was eager to get back out there.
I made nine consecutive pars. And I'll tell you, there was a time when I would have been downright mad at the prospect of making par 9 times in a row, because 9 pars in a row means that you didn't make a single birdie. But that's where I went wrong. That is where the downward spiral began.
You see, I actually tried to force myself into a "new normal." One in which I was a far better player than my game had game to show for it. And I'll tell you now, it took a LONG series of failures in a longer series of poor choices for me to figure it out.
Here's the deal. No matter how bad it gets, I would be wasting my life not to realize how blessed I am to have the life I have and the gifts I've been given. I'm not rich... In fact, I'm downright poor, but I have everything I need and then some. In relationships, I can be selfish, I've never had much patience, and I hate who I become when I argue... but I'm with a beautiful girl (inside and out) who loves me (still) as much as I love her; someone that allows me to have faith, and what a blessing that is. And last but not least, I am not a great golfer... I've seen what great looks like, and I'd be foolish to try and put myself in the same category with those individuals. But let me tell you, it takes a rock to par every hole we play; a foundation that cannot be moved by either the desire for more, or the fear of failure. And with that, I am blessed.
I have been led, as if by the hand of God himself, to the place of gratitude. I pray that normal finds me here.
